Obama trained under Mao Tse-tung - can I get on your list now?

Obama knows where Hoffa is buried (the other Hoffa, the one who originally used phrases such as “we’re going to take out the [opposition]” without counting on his daddy’s ghost to make those words sound like a veiled threat. Obama also knows who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.

OK, that should do it, don’t you think?  If my goal is to make it onto the Obama reelection team’s “Attack Watch” list, those accusations should be enough. I’m pretty sure, unlike many other accusations, they have no validity and, yet, would qualify as actual “phony attacks.”

I consider it a matter of honor to earn a spot on Obama’s “Attack Watch” list though I don’t think I need to make up stories about Obama training under Mao Tse-tung to find myself a spot there. I believe that, in days to come, when the media’s constant and biased defense of this man has run its course, I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror and say, “You knew something was rotten in Kenya and you didn’t just sit around complaining about it; you did something about it” (No, I’m not saying Obama was born in Kenya, I just figure that’s a little teaser to help ensure my spot on the list).

Maybe the “Attack Watch” list is a legitimate idea to defend Obama from unjustified accusations.  Never mind that the idea smells of something generated from a dank basement at Gestapo headquarters, how far do we need to shove bamboo needles under someone’s fingernails before they admit the list is really about portraying any opposition to Obama as though it’s an irrational and hateful attack, and probably an attack that is racial in nature.

The story I read at FOXNews.com about the “Attack Watch” list suggested that folks, presumably like me, would lie about the Affordable Care Act. First of all, if I’m going to say anything about this outrageously unconstitutional law, I’m going to call it by its legitimate name – Obamacare. Second of all, I don’t need to lie about it.

I don’t need to point out that its passage came after a year-and-a-half battle when we should have been concentrating on jobs and the economy. I don’t need to point out that, in the process of its passage, Obama’s promise of transparency was fully demonstrated as a blatant and transparent lie. I don’t need to remind people that then Speaker of the House Nancy ‘Ole-Plastic-Puss’ Pelosi actually stood up and told the American people, “We need to pass the bill to see what’s in it.”

None of this is necessary for me to know, in my heart and regardless of the eventual Supreme Court decision, that this law absolutely violates my constitutional rights; that it sets a precedent so frightening that I don’t need to wait for things to get worse before taking a stand. In fact, the folks at “Attack Watch” can pass my name on to the Justice Department as I’ll say it right now – I don’t currently have health care, and would love to have it. But, I’ll go to jail before I abide by the ‘mandatory’ conditions of Obamacare.

See, I don’t need to lie about Obama to demonstrate that he seems to miss the entire point of rights, liberty and equality. From a financial standpoint, I’m struggling to say the least. But, that doesn’t make me unequal to a Matt Damon or George Soros. In fact, from where I’m standing, I think they’d need extension ladders to look me in the eyes.

Equality isn’t about everyone having the same widescreen television and an SUV. It’s about a personal sense of self-worth. It’s about self-respect and dignity.

I spent the larger part of a year teaching English in Japan. When you live in a foreign country, other than a foreigner living in the U.S., you’re expected to adapt to their culture. In Japanese culture, instead of handshakes, they bow.

The Japanese bow to each other in a stratified manner: a worker bows deeper to his boss and a wife bows deeper to her husband, for instance. As an American, adapting to Japanese culture meant that I was expected to bow, as well. This was unfamiliar territory for me, especially since I grew up with a sense that I’m an American and I don’t need to bow to anyone. But, I could see that it was appropriate to adapt.

So I bowed. But, I bowed the same to everyone and not too deep mind you. I mean, it wasn’t like I was Obama and I dropped a dime as I was meeting the King of Saudi Arabia.

So, put me on your list, Obama.  Shove bamboo spears under my fingernails. Or, put me up against a wall and shoot me. Since I consider a spot on your list evidence of serving my patriotic duty, I can think of few higher honors.